His First Visit Home

Well – now that you’re here, we can finally be a family of four again.

That’s exactly how I felt. It’s a hard to get used to thing when one of your children leaves the nest and you are left to figure out a new family dynamic.  Not good or bad, just sayin.  There are no cliffsnotes and sometimes the new normal is hard to navigate.  I promised you I’d keep you in the loop every stage of the way … so here’s a little note about the first visit HOME.

When I initially wrote about college drop off back in August the response to my post was overwhelming.  Some of you opened the flood gates and ugly cried and then some of you kept it together better than you expected. Was the anticipation of drop off worse than the actual drop off?  For me, it was. Then I wrote about the first visit to campus and I was amazed by how many of you found that first hug back in your child’s arms even harder than the goodbye hug at drop off.  Well, I couldn’t have agreed with you more!  I felt like I was in a movie scene crossing the dock to jump into my long lost sailor’s arms!  But guess what?  The first visit home is a total mind f**k.  It’s incredible and terrifying all at the same time.  Incredible because you are all under the same roof and siblings can be together again and as a mom you can get the much needed hug at any minute of the day.  But also … just when you think your skin is thick enough to handle all the emotions that go along with letting your child soar, you immediately melt once they cross that home threshold again.  How am I ever going to let him go (again)?  DEEP BREATH.  We can do hard things.

So I listened to the advice of a friend (and the many blogs I’ve read about this phase of life) and… listened again. Let them sleep, eat and restore and cheer their way back to school.  And so that’s what I did!  I survived (mic drop) and focused on the next time I’d have him in my arms.  Cuz here’s the thing… I remember coming home to visit my family and how hard it was to be back in a familiar yet unfamiliar environment.  My room was the same, my pets were happy to see me but – something was different.  A lot was different.  I was different. So while I was happy to be in the comfort of my home, I knew it was time for me to focus on my future and not my past and all I needed was the support of my family to help fuel that confidence (and they did!).   Home will always be where my heart is and I know it is for him too.  A safe, happy, loving, judgement-free zone.  THIS is what it’s all about and THAT puts a smile to my face.  We will always be his safe harbor.

Here’s to counting the days til Thanksgiving and being that home he’ll take with him always and forever.  xx

Thanks for being here. Love you.

xo, gaelle