Dear Mom (and Dad) friends, how are you? Truly. I honestly have never received so many likes, comments or DM’s on any topic since joining Instagram years ago, so as promised, I’m writing out my feelings to share this time of my life with you as you navigate through your own imperfectly perfect journeys. Although I try to focus my feed on design-related pieces, I’m finding that the lifestyle and real talk has resounded more with you recently and I’m here for it. For it all!
To put it bluntly – college drop off for a parent is B-R-U-T-A-L. We raise our children for 18 years and then poof! Walking away from that dorm felt like I was making the hardest decision of my life. But while holding back my tears so as to not make a fool of myself in front of him and his roommates, I was also overwhelmed with a sense of pride. Every inch of my body wanted to run back and hug him one more time and then remind him to take his vitamins, get some sleep and to believe in himself when faced with hard decisions (yada yada yada), but the lesson was mine to learn NOT his. Keep calm and carry on mama. He’s got it! You’ve done your job and now it’s time to let him fly on his own. You’ve done well. He is going to be ok…
Honestly the anticipation was worse than the actual drop off, in my opinion. And the ability to text or FaceTime is life changing compared to when I went to college. Although I had been warned, I didn’t expect the “walking by his room for the first time” to be as hard as it was. That’s when the true waterworks started. It’s a confusing, lonely, bittersweet time for us all and I am training my brain (and heart) to stay positive and to focus on each day versus to think too long term. Yes this is a new chapter and yes, we will adapt and survive it! In fact, I am enjoying the updates and this new phase of parenthood. I am loving the one-on-one time with my fifteen year old and also the new found time with my husband.
This is a time to find self love. A time to re-define what it means to be a mom in my life situation right now. A time to re-focus on what matters and to stop worrying as much (this part will take a lot of work bc truly does worrying ever end? lol). My boys are my world but in order for them to be happy, I need to prioritize what also makes me happy. So my two cents… feel all the feels. Ugly crying is the new normal because who the f*k cares. Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel or what your journey “should be like.” We are all different and all doing the best we can!
So here’s to counting the days to Thanksgiving where we all can be reunited with our babies again as a whole family…. (sorry, who’s counting?).
Thanks for listening. You are not alone. Promise.
xo, gaelle
