I don’t know who I was kidding… Sophomore year college move in? Pffft. Easy. Is it possible that I read this all wrong? Again?? Freshman year it’s about “firsts.” The dorm, meeting the roommate, first day of new school, class, cafeteria, laundry, first time at home without being a complete family (aka traumatic). But like I’ve shared before, the build-up was worse than the actual goodbyes. So, of course, I was ready for this year’s drop off, right? WRONG. Somehow, is it possible that this year was harder? Time to do some soul searching as to why and here’s what I came up with (and guys, this is just MY opinion… everyone has different experiences).
Here’s the thing. The firsts are a distraction. You’re so focused on your bird leaving the nest and making sure to create a new cozy and safe nest away from home that you’re distracted. The second year (and I’m assuming each year after that) feels like it’s all business. He’s more grown up, more independent, more confident which equates to maybe not needing you as much (other than the building furniture part and stocking the fridge!). The need is just different, neither good or bad, just different. You turn to drive away and realize that he’s truly not a boy anymore, he’s a growing man. Yes, deep down I knew that but it felt REAL this round. I started to panic because now the clock definitely felt like it was never going to stop.
A few tips…
1. Hire someone to build the furniture when moving into that first college pad (if you can). I’m not kidding that I spent three full days building crap furniture and it would have been cheaper to hire someone to get it done in hours vs days lol.
2. Don’t linger. It makes it harder to say goodbye. Get in and get out. Also, they’re older remember? Mom hanging out with the roommates every night isn’t always the best idea (and yes, even if you’re a cool mom).
3. Make sure to create one-on-one memories like randomly driving to a FB marketplace find and scoring a sick find. Automatic brownie points AND you get to laugh together like good ol’ times. Not everything needs to be online buys!
4. Book the last dinner as a family. Just you and him (or her). This allows for time to talk through any upcoming anxieties so that you can be all ears and just LISTEN. No distractions, just there for your adult kiddo.
The good news? The re-entry home IS easier than that first year. I’m not crying walking by his room (ok maybe just once) because I know he is happy and more familiar with his surroundings. The town is the same, the campus is the same, the cafeteria is the same… he’s got this! And so do YOU mamas!
WE’RE IN THIS TOGETHER.
xo, gaelle
